Saturday, January 7, 2012

Episode IV: A New Hope for Silence

Last night we let Flik stay up late with Mommy and Daddy to watch Star Wars for the first time ever (for him, not for Mommy and Daddy). We decided to start with Episode IV instead of Episode I because, well, don't all parents try to recreate their own childhood for their children? Mommy and Daddy were only around five years old when Star Wars was originally released. I have no idea if I saw it in the theater back then and I have no memory of seeing it for the first time. But about ten minutes into Flik's first viewing, I realized that some of this moment may be worth capturing. Why? Because of the non-stop chattering that was coming out of his mouth. Seriously, the kid asked a question every 10 seconds. So I grabbed my iPhone and turned on the voice recorder and just set it next to him for the rest of the movie. Here is a transcript of the first ten minutes. We begin as Darth Vader appears on screen for the first time.

0:01 I always wanted that costume
0:48 I always wanted to be that…
0:58 What’s that guy doing?
1:22 What’s those white bad guys trying to do?
1:36 Ha ha. She killed…
2:10 What’s happening?
2:23 So how could all the other people get off the ship?
2:29 Are there other escape things?
2:46 What’s happening to her?
2:58 I always wanted to be that black guy. I always wanted to get that costume and be him.
3:27 Is that a bad guy?
3:35 He’s one of the other bad guys?
3:40 Can you hold my juice box?
3:47 So all of the black guys with the black suits are bad guys?
3:56 And the white suit guys are bad guys?
4:00 What color are the good guys?
4:10 Look where they landed.
4:14 Why did they land there?
4:18 Will the bad guys ever get them there?
4:32 Can R2 fly?
4:39 He’s making those sounds. Like mine.
5:08 Why is that gold guy like saying…
5:15 Is that gold guy R2’s boss?
5:29 What’s the gold guy doing?
5:40 How’s R2 gonna do it?
5:45 Does he know how to?
6:29 What did he think it was?
6:45 What are those eyes popping out?
6:51 Is that a bad guy?
6:57 How do you know?
7:11 Doesn’t look too scary right now.
7:17 Does R2 see those eyes moving?
7:26 What happened?
7:31 Is R2 hurt?
7:36 Did they kill him?
7:40 He still works?
7:44 He’s not super dead?
7:51 How did they turn him off?
8:09 What they gonna’ do?
8:24 I want to know what they’re gonna’ do. Tell me.
8:39 What they gonna’ do?
8:53 What’s gonna’ happen?
9:01 And then what’s gonna’ happen to R2?
9:12 Who’s that?
9:24 Is that robot a good robot
9:31 What’s happening to R2?
9:45 So what’s R2 gonna try to do?
9:51 Is his friend gonna’ come and help him?
9:57 There’s his friend?

That's right. 49 questions in 10 minutes. That's literally a question every 12 seconds. And it continued like that for the entire two hours. Welcome to movie watching with a five year old.