Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Childbirth, Telephone Wires, Knock Knock Jokes, and Really Bad Guys with Really Sharp Things

The drive from our house to pre-school is about twenty minutes. Flik had quite a lot to say during that twenty minutes this morning. Here's an abridged transcript:

Flik: Did Aunt Amanda have her baby yet?
Mommy: No, not yet.
Flik: Is the baby in Amanda's tummy or in Moses's tummy?
Mommy: Aunt Amanda's.
Flik: How does the baby get out of mommies' tummies?

(How I got through nine months of pregnancy for his now 6 month old baby brother without this coming up is amazing. This topic came up last week on the way to pre-school, but traffic problems distracted him, so I dodged question.)

Mommy: Mommies go to the hospital  (Total duck, I know.  Let's see if it works.)
Flik: But how does the baby get out.
Mommy: (Darn.) Well, the baby is in a special place in the mommy's tummy and there's a tube that goes from that place to outside the mommy's body. So the baby goes through the tube to get out.
Flik: Is the tube long?
Mommy: Not really long, no.
Flik: But how does the baby get out if the tube's not long enough?
Mommy: It is long enough, it just doesn't need to be super long.
Flik: Oh.

*** 30-60 seconds of silence ***

Flik:  You know what? If a dinosaur came and bumped his head on those wires he would die? (He points to the telephone wires near the road.)
Mommy: (OK. I guess we're on a different subject now.) Oh yeah?  Why's that?
Flik: You know why!
Mommy: I do?
Flik: Because there's electric in them! You already know that.

*** We continue discussing dinosaurs, namely dinosaur teeth. FYI, T-Rex constantly lose their old teeth and replace them with new teeth. We discuss the money in Daddy's car. We discuss how the IPASS works. ***

Flik: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Flik: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Flik: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Flik: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Flik: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Flik: Pizza
Mommy: Pizza who?
Flik: Pizza Jimbo's Pizza

(Jimbo's Pizza is our pizza place down the street.  This is about the level of funny in all of Flik's Knock Knock Jokes, BTW.)

Flik: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Flik: House
Mommy: House who?
Flik: House I don't like tomatoes.

*** Flik informs me that he'd like to eat at a restaurant some time, just not right now. ***

Flik: Why is there those mirrors on the cars?
Mommy: So that the people can see behind them.
Flik: What if they don't have them?
Mommy: Then they can't see behind them.
Flik: Why would they just not look behind them?
Mommy: You could, but it's easier to look in the mirror.
Flik: What if all the cars don't have mirrors?
Mommy: Flik, do all the cars have mirrors?
Flik: But what if a bad guy comes with scissors, and knifes, and razor blades, and like sharp stuff, and chain saws, and circular saws and cut down all the mirrors and lights and everything. Even trees. What if they do that?
Mommy: Um. He'd probably get in trouble.
Flik: And then where would the bad guys go?
Mommy: They'd probably go to jail.
Flik: What happens if they steal the keys from the jail keepers and they unlock theirselves and they brought more and more and more and more and more bad guys with more razor blades and scissors and knives and circular saws and chain saws? And then the police men couldn't catch 'em? And then the bad guys cut off people's legs and their heads and their arms and foots. What happens if they did that and even they cut open their eyes and brains? What if they did that? And they even cut the police men. What if they did that?
Mommy: That would be SO bad. Maybe since they already got the police men, the people would join together to fight the bad guys.
Flik: But they're dead.
Mommy: Oh, that's right. Then I guess that's all that would happen. (I really don't have a better answer than this.)
Flik: What happens if there was a herd of wolves that was trying to eat us? Do you know what "herd" means?
Mommy: Yes, it's a group of animals. Except that wolves don't travel in herds, they travel in packs.
Flik: What does "pack" mean?
Mommy: It's a group, like a herd.

*** We arrive at pre-school.  Mommy is exhausted, and very thankful for the 20 minute drive home... in silence. ***


TheNextMartha said...

"Birth canal" You're welcome.

OakParkGirl said...

LOL, he knows what a circular saw is? That's aweosme! Also, reminds me of babysitting, cause MAN did those kids ask some crazy ass questions.

And do you have a tape recorder? Cause that was a rambling list of conversations :)

rubyspikes said...

Yes, I actually do have a tape recorder. When I drive him to and from pre-school I turn on the voice recorder on my iPhone and prop it between us in the car. I've now got hours of audio I'll probably never go through, but some days it does provide an interesting look into the brain of a pre-schooler.

Post a Comment