What the Toys Really Do When I'm Not Around

Z is going to be crawling soon. It's a little scary. When Flik started crawling, there was never anything on the ground that was smaller than a softball. But Flik is 4, so we have an abundance of Legos, marker caps, stickers, board game pieces, and oh how the list goes on.

So I decided I'd try to be proactive and gather up all the toys with small pieces so that Flik has to ask before he plays with them. Then a grown-up can make sure that all the little pieces are put away when he's done. (Yes, I am aware of the insanity in this plan. But I'm still planning on giving it a shot. I would really prefer it if Z doesn't choke on a Lego.)

So I made the huge mistake of starting in Flik's room while Flik was in there. Every mother knows that you don't clean out the toys with the kids. It was a combination mission: collect the small toys, clean up the dozens of toys that were not put away, and collect all the toys that had migrated to his bedroom, but that really belong in the basement. Turns out, Flik was completely fine with me taking his Legos so that Z doesn't choke on them. What he had a huge problem with was my wanting to return some of his toys to the basement.

Problem toy #1:

This toy came from my mom. She brought over a whole bag of toys from when I was a kid and this was in it. Seriously, how did this thing not get thrown away 20 years ago? But now Flik loves it. Flik insists it needs to stay in his room. Why am I trying to do this with him here again?

Problem toy #2:

We have a box of toys we call "characters." It is mostly Happy Meal toys. Another name for the toys in this box: junk.

Mommy: Can we please bring this one downstairs?

Flik: No. I really, really, really want it to stay in my room.

Mommy: (This probably isn't worth the fight. One more try.) But, Flik, all of your other characters are down in the basement. He's probably lonely.

Flik: No he's not. These two need to stay together. (dramatic pause) They're in love.

Mommy: (OK. Wasn't expecting that.) Really?

Flik: Yes. They got married.

So I guess that settles that then.